Speak to Connect: Strategies for Building Rapport And Getting to a “Yes”

Saturday, September 28, 2024

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Whether we’re looking to inspire a potential client, collaborate effectively with a coworker, or connect with our “other half,” the ability to communicate can transform these interactions.

So what’s the secret? It lies in a crafty blend of three things... understanding our listener, knowing ourselves, and weaving in a little technique we call the “trial close” to the conversation...

Know Our Audience

First, let’s focus on understanding who we’re actually talking to. Every person and audience is unique, filled with their own hopes, fears, and experiences. If we know what triggers them, what they hate, and what they are super passionate about, we can leverage these insights in our dialogue. We can show understanding and appreciation for their story, tailoring our message to resonate more deeply. This is where real connection takes root and where the path to agreement starts.

Research shows that people are more likely to engage when they feel a genuine connection with the speaker. A study published by our fellow sages in Psychological Science reveals that when listeners perceive shared values or experiences, they become more receptive to persuasion. They start thinking, “this person totally gets it,” and they (figuratively) scoot closer to us in their seats to listen in. This is what we want!

So, as we navigate all of our conversations, we should constantly seek those commonalities and start building bridges between us and them.

We invite them to join us on this “shared” journey

Know Ourselves

Now, let’s take a look in the mirror. Just as important as knowing our audience is having a clear understanding of ourselves. What do we value? What beliefs do we share with our listeners? What do we aim to achieve in the current conversation—what is our mission? Taking a step further... what can we offer that provides real, tangible value to them that we can communicate clearly from a genuine, common ground?

Authenticity matters most here. When we present our true selves, we foster trust and openness. It’s scientifically proven that authentic communication nurtures stronger connections. People want to hang out with REAL PEOPLE. They want to do business with REAL PEOPLE. They want to build relationships with REAL PEOPLE.

So, let’s be real. Let’s own our style and personality. This authenticity will naturally lead to better networking and stronger connections with those who appreciate what we stand for. As a result, our connections will deepen, and our message will be much better received.

Build Bridges with Story

Everyone has a story.

And one of the most effective ways to connect is through our personal story.

Think about it – when someone tells an exciting story... everyone around leans in. We want to hear what happened. We want to know who won, who got attacked, who found the money, who went to jail, you name it! We are creatures of experience and we naturally love stories. (it’s one of the reasons why our TV and movie industry is so dang rich).

Everyday conversation and networking is no different. Sharing our experiences creates a powerful bond that draws our audience closer. When we recount our journey, we invite others to see the world through our lens, creating a space for empathy and understanding.

So, it’s essential to dig deep into our own experiences and pull out the relevant pieces that connect with our audience. By default, we also become more relatable and more human. It allows our listeners to sympathize with us and understand where we come from.

When the person we are speaking to creates a mental or emotional bridge between our story and theirs, a natural bond is forged between our separate lives. This is super powerful, and reinforces the idea that we are not so different after al. We understand each other on a deeper level.

This principle transcends all types of relationships. Whether you’re engaging a client or having a “real talk” discussion with the spouse... finding threads of connection in our stories creates a sense of unity. The more our listeners can relate to our experiences, the more likely they are to resonate with our message.

Weaving In The “Trial Close”

Another super-potent, yet underutilized sales technique, which I like to refer to as the catalyst for persuasion is the "trial close."

This strategy involves getting your listener to agree with you on smaller points throughout the conversation, prompting them to shake their heads yes. Each time they nod in agreement, you create a sense of alignment and rapport, making it easier for them to agree with your main point later on.

The psychology behind this is fascinating. When people consistently agree with you, they become more open to your overall message. It lowers their resistance and paves the way for smoother negotiations or decisions. So, as you communicate, look for opportunities to elicit those affirmations. It’s a subtle yet effective way to guide your audience toward agreeing with your ultimate objective.

It can be as simple as using an analogy that everyone understands to make a point, using humor to make light of a situation that we all have experienced, or expressing the most common pains that they are likely experiencing right now! The goal here is to trigger agreement. We want to build up the “yes” bank.
Ultimately, if we are on the same side, and have spent some time consistently agreeing with each other, our resistance melts away. Now, whatever we are trying to convince them of, get them to do, or get them to agree with... it becomes significantly more achievable.

Effective communication is both a science and an art – and I would argue that building connection is the most powerful approach to achieving alignment.

Applying self-awareness, audience understanding, and some tactical approaches to our dialogue, we can guide conversations to connect on much higher levels – ultimacy allowing us to achieve shared goals.

Tori Burke

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Hi, I Am Tori.

Founder of the
Alignment Seeker